If you haven’t read this book, you need to read it! Knowing your child’s love language can be such a game changer in your relationship. If you are unfamiliar with the book, the love languages are Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. We all have a different way we feel the most loved. A lot of the time, yours will not be the same as your child. I often catch myself doing things to show my love for Samuel that I would want someone to do for me, instead of working in his love language. Focusing your affection in a way that they appreciate most makes such a difference.
The 5 Love Languages
Quality Time – These children feel loved through sharing time with people. Cook together, go on solo bike rides, let them sit up later for 1 on 1 time. Structure your day with small time slots to spend playing/interacting with them. Discipline by withdrawing a section of time, especially if they’ve wasted yours!
Gifts – These children like you to give them things to treasure! Buy them something, pick them a flower, start a “treasure box”for them, make sure you LISTEN when they say something they want. Discipline by taking something away for a time.
Acts of Service – These children love helping others and getting to ‘do things’ with parents, but especially independently. Helping wash the car, being given freedom to make their own sandwiches/lunch, surprise family members with something they’ve done for them, etc. Discipline by removing a freedom.
Words of Affirmation – These children thrive on spoken or written encouragement. Write a note, tell them you’re proud and why, make them a big deal with your words – but don’t be patronizing. Discipline by saying “I’m disappointed in how you have acted”.
Physical Touch – These children love you being close! Spend an intentional 5 minutes a day (at least) being physically present with them. Wrestle, hug, sit next to them, etc. Discipline by removing yourself for a time.
Obviously Sam’s and my relationship is far from perfect. We still struggle and Sam throws tantrums on a daily basis. But I am just starting to implement Sam’s love language and I do feel like this is a tip that is helping us to be stronger and happier. I would love to hear any tips you try and focus on in your parent-child relationship!
